


Sour Patch

by fxvixen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Crying, Established Relationship, Fluff, Multi, Oral Sex, Panic Attack, Praise Kink, Rutting, Tickling, a little bit of a, hints of a, im sorry kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxvixen/pseuds/fxvixen
Summary: Kenma tries not to, but he can hear the rehearsing that went into that small phrase; it makes him feel sick. He stares at this stranger walking next to him.“Sure,” he says, because what else can he say?





	1. Hands in Pockets

**Author's Note:**

> yes, im a horrible person who took a break from bokuakakuro/tsukki/ to write bokuakakuro/ken/ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> come at me, bro

Koutarou is standing in his high school classroom in just his boxers. His college teammates are there holding a conversation as if his attire is completely acceptable, and somehow he knows he’s supposed to be getting ready to make some kind of pep talk or “go get ‘em” speech, but he can’t think of what he’s supposed to be pepping them up for? And he can’t really focus on that right now because he’s got to  _ pee  _ like a motherfucker, like right this very second, otherwise he won’t just be mostly naked, but will have pee running down the inside of his legs, too.

The need to pee is what wrenches Koutarou from his dream, and he blearily scrambles off the bed and to the bathroom. He reaches the toilet, drops his pants, and gives a little sigh as he lets go. While he stands there he becomes aware enough to hear a random siren coming from the bustling city outside their apartment. He closes his eyes and listens to the sound of the air conditioner down the hall; he listens to his own breathing and even to the sound of his piss hitting the toilet water.

Wait, it shouldn’t sound like that,  _ fuck. _

Koutarou’s sticky eyes fly open, and he jerks from spraying directly at the toilet lid and consequently sends pee  _ everywhere _ just before it stops. There’s now pee splattered all over the seat, the lid, and parts of the wall next to the toilet.

Tucking himself back in, Koutarou groans in frustration. He debates just leaving it so he can go back to sleep, but Kenma is the first up in the morning and will probably drag him out of bed by the ear and with a kick in the ass to clean it up, so he may as well do it now.

He reaches to flick the light on, and it does after a sputtering protest that leaves him squinting. There are wipes beneath the sink and Koutarou grabs them and starts wiping everything down; admittedly, he goes quick and probably does a shit job, but the pee isn’t  _ everywhere _ now so it’s fine, right?

When it’s mostly clean, Koutarou treks through the apartment with the dirty wipes- they really need to get a trashcan for the bathroom- to their kitchen trashcan, shifting his feet on the cool linoleum. He throws the wipes in the trash and quickly cleans his hands in the kitchen sink.

The air conditioner switches off. 

Silence settles over the apartment as he turns to head back to sleep’s cradling arms. Stepping back onto the carpet of the living room, Koutarou hears what he thinks is a snuffle break the silence.

He turns to find Tetsurou sitting on the couch leaning over with his head in his hands. Koutarou tilts his head to check that Tetsurou is actually there, and he’s not sleep-seeing him, but he honestly can’t remember if Tetsurou was in bed when he scrambled out. He looks like he’s shaking so Koutarou heads over anyway.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Koutarou croons softly. “What’s wrong, baby?” He crouches in front of his boyfriend and rests his hands on the outside of Tetsurou’s knees, sliding his hands up and down his legs.

Tetsurou snuffles some more and rubs his tears away with his fingers and snot away with the back of his hand. When he finally looks at Koutarou he is scowling, face red and eyes puffy from crying. There’s still snot shining beneath his nose and his eyes are glimmering from the tears he forced to stop.

Looking at the man in front of him, Koutarou is swept away with adoration. He can’t believe he gets the privilege of living with this beautiful, imperfect man; he gets to make him happy and love him, and it seems impossible to be true in that moment.

He’ll explode unless he says it. “I love you a lot.”

The statement must not be what Tetsurou is expecting because the scowl wavers into surprise. Koutarou shifts onto his knees and threads his hands into Tetsurou’s hair, pulling him down to place a lingering kiss on his forehead.

Instead of pulling back from it, Tetsurou rests his head against Koutarou’s chest and lets out a shaky breath. He continues to breathe while Koutarou combs through his hair, never in the same direction.

“Hey, baby? I’m sure this isn’t comfortable for your neck so I’m gonna move so we can cuddle right, ok?”

Tetsurou technically doesn’t respond, but he makes a noise that Koutarou takes as assent.

Tetsurou lifts his head and looks blankly into space while Koutarou moves to sit against the arm of the couch. He props a pillow behind himself and eases Tetsurou into his arms. After some adjusting, Koutarou has his legs up on the couch with his head propped on the pillow leaning against the arm. Tetsurou is on top of him with his face buried in the crack between him and the couch. His arms are wrapped tight around Koutarou like he might slip away into nothing.  

Silence falls again, but Koutarou is focused on the wonderful man, warm and breathing, in his arms, so he doesn’t really notice. He alternately rubs Tetsurou’s back and combs through his hair some more, while holding him tight with his other arm, and he feels a sense of protectiveness flow through him. He would do anything for this man.

But...he needs to know  _ what _ to do first.

“Do you wanna talk about it right now?” They both know the additional ‘right now’ is intended.

There’s a pause, but Koutarou is patient.

“Not… really.” Tetsurou’s voice is muffled and absolutely wrecked, and Koutarou now has his suspicions about just how long he’s been out here crying. He leaves it, though, Tetsurou will talk if he wants.

Koutarou cranes his neck to check the time on the microwave.

_ 03:37 _

He decides to give it another 10ish minutes, before trying to herd Tetsurou back to bed. He turns his head back when he hears him attempt to talk into his chest.

“I’m just… not sure… if I can do it.” Tetsurou’s soft voice shakes and he sniffs heavily. Koutarou feels moisture gather on his chest.

“What, sweetheart?”

The answer is immediate and frustrated. “I don’t  _ know _ , I just feel like- like I’m barely keeping my head above water. I’m doing fine now, but if anything happens,” his voice falls to a whisper, “I’m just gonna fall apart.”

Koutarou feels like his heart might actually have a tear in it. He wishes he could physically beat up Tetsurou’s fears, but he of all people knows how difficult fighting battles with your mind can be.

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s this? If anyone’s gonna beat you up, it’ll be me getting revenge for you eating the last Oreo in the box, ok? Don’t let those pesky thoughts control you, baby.”

“Easier said than done.” He looks up with a small smile, propping his chin on Koutarou’s chest. The tears are streaming still, and Koutarou can feel dampness spread further across his chest.

Koutarou huffs. “Yeah, yeah, you don’t have to tell me. But remember? That’s why me and Kenma and Keiji are here, right? To tell you that you’re amazing and support you.” He frames Tetsurou’s face and attempts to wipe the tears away, despite the steady flow. He continues, looking at him seriously, “I mean, I’m amazing, right? So somebody’d look and think I wouldn’t be with anybody less than spectacular, and they’d be right, of course, because I’m with the most beautiful, incredible three people that I know. And I know a lot of people.”

Tetsurou rolls his eyes, but Koutarou catches his crooked grin before he lays his cheek on his chest.  

Koutarou licks his lips, considering.

“You know...you’re always poking us to say what’s wrong. And when I’m upset, I really don’t want to talk about it, but you make me, because this relationship is supposed to be about being open and trusting each other and stuff. You’ve done it to Kenma and Keiji, too. I think...I really think that’s kept us together.”

Koutarou feels Tetsurou take a deep breath against him. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying you’re being a hypocrite.”

“Wow, that was a big word.”

“Hey! I know things!” But Koutarou feels a little lighter. Tetsurou had teased him; all was beginning to seem right with the world again.

“I hear you, Kou, ok? I hear you.”

“Good.” Koutarou hugs Tetsurou  _ tight _ , until he hears him grunt from the pressure, and then he loosens his arms. “I don’t want you to be hurting alone, not when you’ve got three of us to share it with.”

He doesn’t answer, but Koutarou doesn’t really expect him to. He just listens to the sounds of their breaths and the feel of Tetsurou’s weight on him. At some point the air conditioner turns back on, hiding the sounds of their breaths, but Koutarou can feel each breath they take against one another.

Suddenly, Koutarou is jerking awake, the movement pulling Tetsurou from sleep as well. They both groan at the intrusion on their sleep time. Koutarou looks at the clock again.

_ 05:07 _

He groans again and nudges the limp body on top of him trying to force sleep to take him back.

“Hey… you wanna head back to bed? I’ll still cuddle you, of course, but if we stay asleep here we’re gonna hate ourselves in a couple hours.”

“Mm… carry me.”

Koutarou laughs quietly. “Anything for you, bae.” He scoots sideways and manages to drag Tetsurou with him as he stands up, supporting under his thighs with his arms and legs still wrapped around him.

He shuffles down the hall, pausing to juggle his boyfriend while turning off the bathroom light, then heads into the bedroom and sets Tetsurou on the bed. They crawl further in and join the warmth of the other two already curled around each other. Koutarou has the time to think  _ cute  _ before sleep drags him under once more.

 

* * *

 

 

Keiji would be lying if he said he didn’t notice that Tetsurou has been stressed and somewhat reserved lately. In fact, Kenma and he have made eye contact and he’s sure that they were both probably on the brink of asking Tetsurou what was wrong. Keiji was just holding out the hope that Tetsurou would open up on his own, and he can only assume that Kenma feels the same.

But when  _ Koutarou _ asks him if he thinks Tetsurou is alright, Keiji knows that he needs to do something.

“Hey, Keiji?”

They’re sitting on a bench outside a small restaurant waiting for Kuroo and Kenma to get there to go inside. They can smell inordinate amounts of greasiness coming from the place, and if the shouts are anything to go by then they’ll have to shout themselves to be heard inside.

“Do you think Tetsurou is alright?”

That...hadn’t been what he was expecting. Concern sweeps through him at the realization that something must have happened, but he stays calm for Koutarou’s sake.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, last night I found him crying in the living room, so I thought maybe something was up.”

Keiji blinks. “He was crying?” Disbelief definitely slipped into his tone.

“Yeah, he cried for a long time but… he wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

“Why didn’t you tell Kenma and I? Why didn’t you  _ wake  _ us?”

“I haven’t had time to tell you! I was the last one awake this morning, remember? C’mon Keiji, you know Kenma had that big test this morning! And- and you’re a  _ monster  _ when you wake up.”

Keiji narrowed his eyes, but didn’t disagree.

“And we’re all together now, so~ we can talk about it now! You know, if Tetsurou wants.”

“Koutarou, exactly how do you think we’ll be able to talk about it in this place?”

They both glance back just as a random bout of cheers explodes out the open doors.

“We can try!” Koutarou says as they face front again. During the motion, he snags Keiji’s opposite hip and pulls him closer. Keiji sighs and rubs his forehead, but leans into his boyfriend’s body. The night isn’t cold, comfortably cool in fact, and Koutarou’s warmth feels nice against his side.

Keiji resolves that he’ll sit by Tetsurou at dinner to see if he can ween anything out of him.

Within a few minutes, they see Kenma and Tetsurou coming from across and down the street. They’re holding hands, and the small gesture makes Keiji give the faintest of smiles. With every step they take towards their bench, it feels like the mending of a hole in a favorite sweater, like something returning to the way it was supposed to be.

When the other two have almost reached them, Koutarou gives him a one armed squeeze and a quick kiss on the temple, before springing up and running at them. Keiji knows what’s coming and braces himself to pretend not to know these people.

Kenma rips his hand from Tetsurou’s and walks quickly toward Keiji as Koutarou flies by in the other direction.

“Bae!! Before anything else!! My Bae!!!” Koutarou launches himself at Tetsurou. Luckily- or unluckily- for Kenma and Keiji this is a regular occurance, so Tetsurou knows exactly how to brace himself. He stumbles back as he grabs Koutarou out of the air and pulls him in tight, and they make odd happy noises while holding each other.

That’s all Keiji sees before Kenma reaches him and they head inside the rowdy restaurant.

They’re greeted and asked, “Just two tonight?”

“No, unfortunately, there are two idiots outside that also belong with us.” Kenma snorts softly at this.

They blink.

Keiji takes pity on them. “Four. There will be four.”

“Alright, we’re just cleaning off a table, and should be able to seat you in the next five minutes, if you want to take a seat and wait?”

“Thank you.”

Throughout the interaction, Kenma’s eyes had been flicking around, no doubt taking in the people and the layout of the restaurant. There’s a bar at the far end where most of the noise is coming from, but the whole place is loud.

Keiji calls his name. “Kenma.”

His eyes flick to him.

“Let’s take a seat while we wait.”

There’s a moment where Keiji isn’t sure if his words registered, but then Kenma nods and they sit down to wait. Kenma sits with his leg pressed against Keiji’s and his hands fiddling together in his lap as his eyes continue to sweep the place.  

Keiji presses their legs together a little harder. Kenma’s eyes flick up to him briefly, then away again.

His shoulders relax the tiniest bit. Keiji feels proud.

...and  _ maybe _ a little satisfied.

They’re seated quickly- quickly enough that the other two haven’t come in yet from whatever gross display of affection they’re treating passers-by to. They’re given a small booth and Kenma sits on one side, Keiji on the other. Keiji immediately reaches his leg across to press  against Kenma’s once more under the table, and they each order a water.

When he sees the other two finally come in, Keiji waves them over, but he frowns. The looks on their faces don’t say “Oh, I’m happy to see my boyfriend.” One of them quite obviously says, “I’m concerned,” and the other tries to hide it, but still clearly says, “I’m uncomfortable.”

Keiji is determined to use this dinner to prod Tetsurou. This is getting out of hand.

Tetsurou grins when he reaches the the table. “How are my two favorite boyfriends?”

A loud squawk comes from Koutarou as Kenma replies, “I just walked here with you.”

Keiji pointedly looks at Tetsurou, gives him a haughty look, and then proceeds to continue reading his menu without a response.

“Keeeijiiiiii~~” Tetsurou flops down next to-  _ on top of _ \- him in the booth to get his attention.

_ It was just  _ **_too easy_ ** _. _

He buries his face into Keiji’s chest and squeezes his arms tight enough that he can feel the pressure in his lungs. Now is the part in their “routine” where Keiji would calmly peel Tetsurou off him.

He doesn’t.

Their waters come just then, and they ask if Koutarou or Tetsurou want anything. Koutarou orders a lemonade as he slides in next to Kenma who says, “The other idiot there will take a water, too.”

Tetsurou stays where he is for several seconds before peeking up at Keiji, still grinning. Keiji pretends he doesn’t notice; he watches Koutarou greet Kenma with a squeezing hug after seeing Kenma’s slight nod. Bokuto immediately launches into asking Kenma how his day was and is his required technical writing class getting any better?

After a few moments, Keiji looks down to see Tetsurou still looking up at him, but now with the tiniest wrinkle between his brows, questioning why Keiji isn’t playing along. Keiji just stares back at him solidly, letting him think whatever he wants. Tetsurou keeps eye contact, but starts pull away, and Keiji is startled to see something like sadness in his eyes.

_ This has really gone too far. _

Before he can move completely off, Keiji smoothly slips his arm around him and pulls Tetsurou up against him. It’s slightly uncomfortable to have his arm between Tetsurou and the booth, so he pulls it back when he’s certain he’s not going anywhere and grabs Tetsurou’s hand instead.

Keiji can feel the eyes trying to pierce through the side of his skull to figure out what he’s up to. He’ll probably guess, but that doesn’t really matter. Keiji wants Tetsurou to talk about it, so the quicker he gets the picture the better, really.

It’s just a matter of getting him to talk once he’s figured it out.

Koutarou and Tetsurou quickly strike up a conversation, as they usually do at the beginning of their dates. They have to get all the Loud and Exciting things out of the way first, and Keiji and Kenma are content to listen and add in occasionally.

As they talk the noise in the restaurant gets louder and louder, causing them to have to shout across the table to each other. After a bit, Koutarou and Tetsurou stop talking, with the subconscious expectation that one of the other two will bring up something to talk about. Kenma must not disappoint, because Koutarou laughs and turns to say something to him, but Keiji can’t hear it.

He observes his boyfriends across the table. Normally, Koutarou would have slung his arm around whoever he was sitting by, but he hadn’t this time. Keiji wondered if he’d tried and he just hadn’t been watching when the quick request and denial happened or if Koutarou had realized Kenma was uncomfortable and didn’t offer.

As they talk, Koutarou continues to lean closer to Kenma, putting on an obnoxious face that he liked to call his, “seduction face.” If Koutarou looked at  _ him _ like that, Keiji is fairly certain any arousal he’d felt would fade immediately.

Kenma must feel similarly because he had discreetly wiped the condensation off the outside of his water and quickly smears it all over Koutarou’s face. Keiji heard the squawk that he let out in response, and smiled slightly, glad those two were behaving as usual.

Keiji looked away to take a drink from his water, and became aware of the sweaty palm still resting in his own. He looked up to find the person attached to it staring at him, the one who  was  _ acting  _ as usual.

Tetsurou has his cheek in his hand and had turned so he could stare directly at Keiji. It wasn’t an admiring stare or a frowning stare, just...a blank stare. Keiji stared back and lifted his eyebrow.

Tetsurou quickly slid into the familiar horrendous smirk. “Hey, I’ve never noticed before, but you’re kinda hot.”

Keiji refrained from rolling his eyes, but only just; he turned to take another drink, trying to dissect what Tetsurou might be trying to cover up.

“You got a boyfriend or something, sweetheart?”

Narrowing his eyes, Keiji let one edge of his lips curl. “My boyfriend isn’t the one you should be worried about.”

Tetsurou laughs, “Touché.”

This brand of humor, the humor shared between the two of them, is special. Keiji feels affection swirl within his amusement, and he rubs his thumb across Tetsurou’s own, who returns the gesture.

_ Wait.. _

_ That isn’t right. _

...

_ What’s not right about it, though? _

Before Keiji can figure it out, their food arrives, forcing their hands apart so they can grab their plates.

Digging in, he focuses back to the feeling of Tetsurou’s thumb rubbing his skin. It’s a familiar feeling, for certain. Not just that, but the feeling of his fingers being played with, his hand being moved this way and that or squeezed gently.

_...oh... _

Tetsurou was  _ always  _ messing with his hands when he held them, not necessarily a restless gesture, but just to show that he is there. It’s meant to be relaxing and affectionate. Here, in this booth of a restaurant that seemed full of  _ animals _ , Keiji’s hand had been so still, he’d forgotten it was being held. Now that Keiji notices the difference, his hand tingles, seeming to know something was wrong, as well.

_ Hm. _

As they eat, Keiji notices that it’s starting to quiet down to a more reasonable volume. He glances over to see people gathered around the bar rising from their chairs and heading towards the door.

Kenma suddenly brings up what he and Koutarou had apparently been discussing. Tetsurou joins in and Keiji listens while he continues to stuff his face. This is no time for discussion.

They talk together about random things while the place slowly empties the later it gets. At some point their empty plates are taken away (Alright, Kenma asked for a box, but was saving room for more important things).

They’re asked if they’ll be having dessert and Koutarou says proudly, “Of course! We’re not...the devil or something!”

Keiji snorts. “We couldn’t  _ all _ be the devil.”

Koutarou takes the dessert menus, but looks seriously at him. “You never know, Keiji. You never know.” Kenma huffs out a laugh at him.

Keiji rolls his eyes. He doesn’t even try to stop it this time; he deserves this one. Then he quickly scans the menu offered to him.

“Tetsurou, would you like to share the brownie explosion?” Keiji turns the dessert menu in his direction.

“Damn~ Keiji, give me a minute to look it over…” but he leans over to look at what Keiji’s pointing at. He lets out a whistle. “Look at that fudge! Yeah, let’s share that.”

“You shouldn’t base your choice on the picture,” comes from Keiji at the same time that Koutarou says, “Huh?? No fair!! Kenma, do you wanna share with me?”

“No, I’m getting apple pie.” He’d somehow looked at the menu for a shorter time than Keiji had.

“But, we could still-”

“No.”

Koutarou deflates.

“I’ll...let you feed me. If you want.”

He’s instantly reinflates. “You will?! I can, really, for real?”

Kenma fidgets under all three of their looks. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Their dessert comes much faster than their meals had, and as soon as it’s set in from of him, Keiji forks off a good chunk of the brownie.

Tetsurou clearly isn’t expecting it when the fork comes to his face instead of Keiji’s own, but he smiles, almost delightedly, and takes the offered bite. He chews for half a second before his eyes widen, and he lets out an  _ ungodly  _ moan.

“This is fucking delicious!” He says it before he’s even swallowed. Tetsurou stabs off his own chunk and puts it to Keiji’s lips.

Keiji wastes  _ no  _ time in getting that shit in his mouth.

_ Fuck. _

It’s good. It’s so fucking good. It’s  _ rich,  _ and smooth and slightly warm. Perfect.

They each feed each other a few more bites, sighing in pleasure and Keiji has to fight off the impulse to issue a battle to the death so that he can have the whole thing for himself.

He checks on the other two between bites. He finds Koutarou with his own spoon sticking out of his mouth upside down and his ice cream melting. Feeding Kenma appears to be a full time job, but Koutarou looks to be enamored with it. Every time Kenma’s lips close around the fork, Koutarou’s eyes get a little wider.

Keiji has to admit that it’s pretty cute.

But he can’t watch cuz he wants more brownie.

He turns back to find Tetsurou looking at Kenma and Koutarou with the sickest lovey dovey face he has. Keiji rolls his eyes once more, but smiles a little as he grabs another bite and holds it up to get Tetsurou’s attention.

For the barest hint of a second, he turns that gross lovey dovey look on Keiji. In that moment, Keiji knows his face slackens without his permission, giving him a vulnerable look. He feels tense and stuck to the spot, thoughts halted.

It wasn’t unlike the look Koutarou gave him, but coming from Tetsurou… it’s new.

Then the smirk arrives and Keiji is pissed instantly.

“Take the brownie before I eat the rest.”

“M’kay Keeeijiiii~.” HE takes this bite into his mouth as well, but as he’s drawing back this time, he puts more pressure on the fork with his lips, pulling off slower. Tetsurou looks Keiji dead in the eye, smirking around the fork, and gives off a good loud groan. The look that accompanies it is  _ sinful. _

Keiji gets even more pissed because his body  _ reacts _ to it. He keeps his cool, barely, looking expectantly for another piece.

Tetsurou does not disappoint. Keiji, too, pulls slower off the fork this time, lowering his eyelids, and possibly pushing his lips out a little farther than they normally sat. The chunk of brownie is soft and when he has it all the way off the fork, he gives it a quick chew and swallows, blinking at Tetsurou. He then gives a happy little sigh, smiling fully.

Keiji gets the satisfaction of watching Tetsurou’s pupils dilate.

“Whooaah…”

They both look at Koutarou stuffing his face with his half melted ice cream. He points to each of them with his spoon. “That was so goddam hot.”

Keiji feels his cheeks flush against his will. Well, the game was pointless anyway, so he picks at the brownie and starts eating the rest himself. Tetsurou takes one more bite before pushing the rest away.

They finish up, pay the bill, and head out.

As they’re walking out, Keiji sees the bench he and Koutarou had been sitting on. He’s reminded of their conversation.

_ “Do you think Tetsurou is alright?” _

….

_ That  _ **_bastard_ ** _. He lured me into a competition. _

 

* * *

 

_ His hands are in his pockets. _

Currently, this is the only thing that Kenma can think.

_ He stumbled back. _

Ok, that’s not true. There are currently only  _ three _ things Kenma can think.

_ He leaned against the arm of the couch. _

He doesn’t know how to make them stop, but he doesn’t exactly want them to stop, because they are his proof. They are the foundation for his argument.

And that argument is happening tonight, regardless of how Tetsurou feels about it.

_ His hands are in his pockets. _

_ He stumbled back. _

_ He leaned against the arm of the couch. _

The night is nice. There’s no need for any hands to be in pockets, but Kenma makes no move to correct the wrong as they walk home from dinner.

Kenma has his own hands at his side; they feel awkward just swinging there, brushing against his legs.

_ His hands are in his pockets. _

Looking ahead to where Koutarou hops along with Keiji at his side, their hands are clasped. Even as Koutarou bounces along causing their hands to shake, they stay locked together. Kenma thinks about that connection, the connection between the two of them. It’s strong and filled with amusement and adoration.

Kenma’s own connection with Koutarou is filled with a good amount of exasperation, but each of them also have an admiration for the abilities the other has. Koutarou is outgoing and can feel natural in any situation, but he doesn’t have Kenma’s knack for observation. They need each other, sometimes, to give each other strength.

Keiji is different. Some people assume because they both tend to observe rather than speak, that they must have similar personalities. They, of course, would be completely wrong. Keiji has the  _ uncanny  _ ability to calm anyone. Kenma, on the other hand is almost never what you would call… calm. Jittery seems to be his natural state, even if he’s technically sitting still. Their connection is made through thought and understanding.

On Keiji’s part, he seems even calmer when he has a goal that he’s working towards. Whether it be keeping everyone else focused or winning a game or, as it seems right now, getting Kuro to talk about what’s been bothering him.

Kenma isn’t sure he wants Kuro to talk.

_ He leaned against the arm of the couch. _

He’s afraid of what he’ll hear.

_ He stumbled back. _

Kuro and he had been walking home together for longer than a decade. For at least half of that, Kuro had held his hand while they walked. At first, it’d been so Kenma didn’t wander, but it became a lot more. It’d always been Kenma’s physical anchor, but somehow his emotions got caught up in there as well.

But tonight…

_ His hands are in his pockets. _

“Hey,” breaks through his thoughts.

Kenma looks up to see Kuro leaning into his space, smiling a little. His skin tingles.

Kuro nods towards the two walking in front of them, but stares directly into Kenma’s eyes. “They look pretty cute, right?”

Kenma tries not to, but he can hear the rehearsing that went into that small phrase; it makes him feel sick. He stares at this stranger walking next to him.

“Sure,” he says, because what else can he say?

Kuro laughs, and it feels like a stake in his stomach. It’s not real.

It doesn’t take long for them to reach their apartment, and Koutarou bolts for the bathroom the second the door clicks unlocked. Kuro grabs his bag and starts setting out his notebooks and things on the bar separating the kitchen from the living room. Keiji settles on the couch next to his laptop, but fixes Kenma with a look. He wants to talk about it now.

Kenma looks away.

“Tetsurou,” Keiji says, as Kenma settles himself reluctantly in the squishy recliner they’d gotten cheap from a friend.

“Hm?” He looks up even as he sets yet another notebook on the bar.

“I think the four of us need to have a discussion.”

Kenma had steeled himself, but the words still wind him tight. He’s not sure he’ll make it through this conversation.

Kuro glances back at his notes, like he might argue, but acquiesces with an “Okay,” and moves to sit down with them. Koutarou comes exploding back into the living room and hops over the back of the couch to land beside Keiji, taking the seat Kuro had been planning on sitting in.

“Ha!”

Kuro snorts. “You act like there isn’t another perfectly good seat over here.”

Whatever Kenma is feeling winds tighter as Kuro takes a seat in the chair opposite him. His Kuro would just sit on top of Koutarou, not take another seat.

“Hey, hey! We’re all sitting here, we should watch a movie!” Koutarou moves to grab the remote, but Keiji stops his arm.

“We’re going to have a discussion, Kou.”

“Oh…” His eyes widen. “Oh, yeah, cool.”

Keiji turns to Kuro. “I’ll bite the bullet. The three of us are worried about you.”

Kuro shoulders sink the slightest bit. “Even you, Keiji?” He places a hand on his heart. “I’m touched!”

Kenma wishes dearly that he could leave. Seeing Kuro fake it is torture.

Keiji stares him down.

After a tense moment, Kuro puts his hands up defensively. “Ok, ok, I hear you. You guys are concerned.”

“We want to know what’s wrong.”

“There’s nothing wrong.”

“You cried!” Koutarou exclaimed. This is news to Kenma. He checks Keiji, but he doesn’t look surprised.

Great. Now they all have secrets from him. What a way to feel included, communication is great. The fact that Kuro doesn’t deny it only makes Kenma feel infinitely worse than he already did.

“There’s nothing wrong that I can’t handle,” Kuro amends.

“You don’t  _ need _ to handle it alone. We’re here for more than decoration or sex.”

“I’m alright, I promise, don’t worry about it.”

“But you cried!” Koutarou exclaims again, unhelpfully.

“Yes, okay. I cried. But everyone gets more emotional when they’re tired.” Kuro is beginning shorten his words. “You can’t tell me you guys haven’t cried because you’re tired, because I’ve seen it Kou.” His words snapping, trying to defend himself.

“Hey!” Koutarou looks hurt. Like, ‘Kuro you went too far this time’, hurt. Kenma isn’t sure he  can bring himself to stop it, to make Kuro talk. He’s too afraid of what he might say.

“Tetsurou, just _ tell us! _ ” Keiji is angry now, frustrated that Kuro keeps deflecting. His voice rises with every word. “We can’t  _ help _ unless we know what’s  _ wrong! _ ”

“And that’s what I’m telling you!  _ Nothing is wrong. _ ”

God, Kenma can’t  _ take  _ the lying anymore. But… can he even speak?

“ _ Tetsu- _ ”

“You leaned against the arm of the couch.”

Kenma barely breathes it but it feels like a shout. They all blink at him. He swallows the nails he feels like he’s gargling.

“Yesterday, when you and Keiji were on the couch, you leaned against the arm of the couch instead of on Keiji, like you usually do, to annoy him.”

Kuro looks to sink in on himself a little, either from Kenma’s words or the force of his stare. “I was just trying to be nice, for once.”

Kenma feels his face scrunch without his permission. “Tonight, when Koutarou ran at you, you didn’t move forward to catch him, like you usually do, you stumbled back from the force of it. You’ve never stumbled in all the times I’ve seen you do it.”

Kenma doesn’t register the other two’s reactions, only Kuro’s guilty look. “Maybe-”

Kenma doesn’t want to hear another forced excuse. “When we were walking home tonight, you didn’t hold my hand.”

That cuts across any excuse Kuro might have had and plunges them all into a stiff silence. At the beginning of their relationship it’d been made clear that Kuro and Kenma always walk next to each other on the way home. It didn’t matter when they were walking somewhere else; anyone could walk by anyone. On the way home, though, Kenma was always more comfortable if he had Kuro to hold on to.

Kenma feels the sickness roll over him again. He turns slightly away from the situation.

It’s so hot, it feels like the air is thickening. He feels like he could break out in a thick sweat. The pressure of their looks weigh on him, and he wants to go somewhere where he doesn’t have to feel this thick pain and fear.

_ His hands were in his pockets. _

 

* * *

 

It’s Kenma that breaks him.

As the other two had talked, attempting to reach him, Tetsurou had listened but he  _ really _ didn’t believe that they needed to talk about it. He’s  _ fine _ , seriously.

Now, he inspects his third boyfriend’s face. Kenma isn’t even looking at him anymore; he’s looking down at the ground, like usual. To anyone else, he might look like he’s given up on trying to get through to Tetsurou, deeming the conversation pointless.

But Tetsurou knows better.

He and Kenma have known each other for over twelve years now, and Testurou knows Kenma front to back and every way in between. This Kenma…. he’s not disinterested… he’s withdrawing. He’s backing off from something that hurt him.

_ Tetsurou  _ hurt him.

Tetsurou would have rather been hit by car than feel what that realization brings him. He feels kind of like he somehow set his chest on fire, and that same fire is sucking every molecule of oxygen from his lungs. Kenma has  _ never  _ run  _ from  _ him. He’s always been something that Kenma has run  _ to. _

Wrenching away from that, Tetsurou sees that both Keiji and Koutarou are now looking at him confusedly, but Keiji’s quickly changes to…

...wariness?

Koutarou starts haltingly, “Wait...but does that mean…”

_ Did they think…? No… they’d know Tetsurou would-  _ **_could_ ** _ never leave. _

_...didn’t they? _

Tetsurou feels his body tense as some kind of fight or flight instinct takes hold of him. He can’t believe… they  _ doubt _ him. They doubt that he wants this, that he loves them. He has to  _ do something,  _ otherwise he’s going to lose everything. It doesn’t seem real, like it had ever been a possibility. 

That, no… that  _ couldn’t _ happen. He… he  _ loves  _ them. He just… well...

Koutarou and Keiji are still looking at him, so Tetsurou is the only one to watch a tear fall from Kenma’s eyes. He quickly wipes it away, and Tetsurou feels the pull directly on his heart.

“Okay, okay… just…” He takes in a shaky breath, and Kenma looks at him again with that same wariness in Keiji and now Koutarou’s eyes. “I’ll tell you. It’s stupid, but you guys… I guess you deserve to know, so I’ll tell you.”

He can never  _ ever  _ give them a reason to doubt.

He leans forward in his chair, desperate to be understood. “I just… have been really stressed with school and homework as we get closer to finals, I mean… we’re all pretty aware that I have the biggest class load.” He laughs humorlessly. They all blink, almost at the same time, and Tetsurou feels a little bad about being creeped out by it in the moment. “But, uh, a couple times this week you guys have asked me to do things for you. Small things, like take out the trash or, or put the dishes in the dishwasher or whatever.”

They just look confused.

“And I forgot?” Urging them to remember.

He himself remembers the feeling of shame exactly as it felt when he walked out of his fourth class of the day, and remembered the plates and bowls sitting on the counter. They didn’t ask him to do much, but he should at least be able to accomplish  _ that,  _ and he couldn’t.

“I already felt…  _ really  _ guilty about that, and then a couple days ago Kou forgot his volleyball bag and was late to practice, remember? He called me and asked if I’d bring it, and I… I couldn’t help him, because I had that test, you know?” He’d answered the phone, happy to hear from Koutarou, thinking he was calling to say good luck before the test. Instead, Koutarou’s voice had been panicked and pleading. When Tetsurou mentioned the test he was about to walk into, Koutarou had squawked out several apologies and said he’d figure it out, but the damage had been done.  “I just… I don’t know, I just felt so awful that I couldn’t  _ do _ anything.”

Tetsurou falls silent, dropping his head and looking at the coffee table between them. It only sounds even more stupid said out loud.

“Well, hey, I wasn’t  _ that  _ late. I’m not mad at you or anything!” Koutarou smiles at him hopefully from the couch. He looks like he might jump up and attack Tetsurou with love or maybe start apologizing again. 

Tetsurou huffs a laugh. “I know Kou. I know you’re not. That’s...not what I’m getting at.”

“You’re upset that you’re too busy to do things for us.” It’s a question, coming from Keiji, but it doesn’t sound like it.

Tetsurou drops his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. “Kind of?”

“Tell us.” It’s not a request. Not now. Not from Kenma.

Tetsurou looks up to see him much more engaged now. He’s facing them and looking at him intensely. He’s not sure he deserves the attention.

It just reminds him of the doubt he’s let grow between them; it makes Tetsurou feel… disgusting that he let the most important people in his world think that they might be thrown away. He let them think they weren’t important.

“I, ugh, I just wanna be able to make you guys happy, ok? I want to be able to do anything for you. When I forgot to put the dishes in the dishwasher, that probably made someone upset. When Kou needed his bag, I wanted to be able to bring it to him because that’s what he wanted.”

Tetsurou forces a shaky breath in.

“I don’t really feel like I… like I deserve you if I can’t keep you happy.” With that statement, tears fall down Tetsurou’s face, but he forces them away stubbornly. He glares at the corner of the ceiling where the paint is chipping, trying to get his tears to stop.

There’s silence once again. A bird sings outside the living room window as the last bits of light leave the sky outside.

Abruptly, Kenma gets up and walks around the coffee table. Tetsurou braces himself.

Kenma moves his arms out of the way without much fight, considering Tetsurou doesn’t really know what’s going on and scrambles to curl up on his lap. Then he pinches Tetsurou’s arm.

“Ow!” He tries to rub the spot, frowning, but it’s hard when he’s got an armful of frustrated boyfriend.

“Now you know it’s not a dream.” Kenma grabs his face on either side and forces him to meet his eyes. He wipes more of the falling tears off of Tetsurou’s cheeks as he speaks. “We’re right here, and  _ you _ make us happy. Things that you can do for us are nice, but having you be with us is more important.” More tears spill at his words.

“I know that, but-”

“Yeah!” Koutarou jumps up from the couch finally and comes to stand over Tetsurou from the side hands on his hips. Keiji follows. “And, also! You’re so worried about us being happy, but you didn’t figure it out!”

They look at him. Tetsurou struggles to do so, since Kenma’s still holding his face.

“Figure what out?” Tetsurou asks, frowning.

“If us being happy makes you happy, then guess what makes us happy??” Koutarou throws his arms out like he’d displaying Tetsurou as a prize. “It’s  _ you  _ being happy! You worried yourself about our happiness to the point of being unhappy, when what makes us happy is you being happy, too!” Koutarou scrunches his face, brings a hand to his chin, and looks up. “There’s a meme for this.”

“Oh, please don’t.”

“Aha!” Koutarou literally points his finger straight up in the air like a little ‘Eureka!’ and then he dramatically points it down in Tetsurou’s face. “Congratulations! You screwed yourself!”

“It’s ‘You played yourself.’”

“Well, it still gets the point across!”

Tetsurou reluctantly starts to grin. “Actu-”

Keiji cuts in. “Can we get back to the matter at hand?” He moves to stand on Testurou’s other side, also looking down at him.

“Yeah,” Kenma says, “Koutarou had a pretty good point for once.” He looks up at said boyfriend and gives a small smile to take the sting away.

“ _ Kenma! _ You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Kenma’s face scrunches.

Tetsurou doesn’t think. He kisses that stupidly adorable face.

“ _ The matter at hand.  _ We have to actually finish this discussion.”

Tetsurou looks up at him. “Alright, lay it on me, Keiji.”

“Please remember that you are just as important to us as we are to you. You are not some lesser being meant to fulfill our every demand…. no matter how much I wish it so.” He gives a teasing smile, and leans down to rest his hand on Tetsurou’s shoulder. “I’m not telling you to stop wanting to do things for us; I very much doubt you could. I’m asking you to consider that we find _you_ important when you are next feeling that you… don’t deserve us, or whatever nonsense you said, just because the things you give us and the actions you do for us don’t meet your own exceedingly high expectations.”

“Agreed.”

“What he said.”

Tetsurou looks at the three of them looking at him. Each of them is smiling and no one is looking like he doesn’t deserve them. 

Yes,  _ even  _ Keiji. 

Tetsurou groans and pulls Kenma toward him, so he can bury his face in Kenma’s shoulder. 

Koutarou and Keiji laugh while Kenma pats his back unsympathetically. 

“C’mon,” Kenma says, pulling away. “Let go lay down.” He detached Tetsurou from him and starts heading to the bedroom, Keiji just behind. 

Tetsurou stands and moves to follow, but he’s scooped up with an arm under his knees and another supporting his back. He quickly wraps his arms around Koutarou’s shoulders, as he proudly marches to the bedroom like he’s showing off his conquest. The smirk on his face tells exactly how he feels about dragging Tetsurou to the bedroom. 

They stop before the bed, and it’s almost a reflection of the night before. Kenma and Keiji are waiting for them expectantly on the bed. Koutarou leans to nuzzle Tetsurou’s nose with his own, before setting him down on the bed. Kenma quickly scrambles on top of him, and Keiji crowds in  close to his side. Koutarou lays down and snuggles up to his other side, wrapping his legs around the closest one to him, and throwing an arm over both Tetsurou and Kenma. Keiji echos his movements.

Tetsurou gets hot  _ real  _ quick, especially when Keiji pulls up a blanket on his side. Now he’s got Koutarou The Furnace on one side and Keiji With A Blanket on the other. Kenma is the coolest, temperature wise,  but he’s still warm. 

But it’s worth it. 

It’s worth it, because it’s proof that even though they doubted him for the tiniest sliver of a second, they still love him. They still trust him. They still think he’s worth it. Even if he can’t do things for them all the time, he’s worth it. 

And if Tetsurou _ can _ do something for them, he will. If they want something, he’ll still do his damnedest to get it for them. Maybe sometimes he won’t be able to, but hopefully, it’ll be ok. 

Before long, Keiji is snoring softly and Koutarou is drooling on his arm. Kenma draws patterns on his chest next to where his head lies. 

Tetsurou drifts off feeling warm and maybe not happy, but definitely loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> considering i was originally writing this to practice my smut...and this happened...it's safe to say that there will be smut in the second chapter. can't promise when it will be out, i've got to stop doing that.
> 
> i like when people comment and/or come talk to me on tumblr. im too lazy to put the link, you can find me if you really want to lol, it's fxvixen


	2. Hands in Pants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tetsurou had barely walked into the house after his final exam of the semester before he’s accosted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY!! at one point kuroo is in the edge of a panic attack but it's not described in very much detail

Tetsurou had barely walked into the house after his final exam of the semester before he’s accosted.

“Koutarou.”

“Yessir.” He turns to Tetsurou. “Sorry, babe, but Kenma’s the boss right now.” Tetsurou doesn’t have time to think about what that means before he’s scooped up and thrown over a shoulder. He braces himself on Koutarou’s back and moves to push more upright, but a hand holds his head down.

“We wouldn’t want you to hit your head on the doorway.” Keiji’s voice is smug.

“C’mon, Keiji. What’s up with this?” Tetsurou tries to twist his head to look at him while he’s bounced down the hallway, but Keiji just pets his hair.

“You’ll see, you’ll see.”  Tetsurou’s known him long enough to know he’s smiling by the sound of his voice.

Koutarou flips him down and drops him on the bed, and Tetsurou props himself up on his elbows and leers at Koutarou leaning over him. “Nice muscles, bro. 10/10 would be thrown on a bed again.”

Koutarou grins his thousand watt smile and stands up to flex his arms proudly.

“They are quite impressive.” Keiji comes up next to Koutarou and kisses his bicep. Koutarou promptly melts.

“Keeeijiiii~~~” He turns and grabs either side of Keiji’s face and kisses him soundly on the mouth.

Tetsurou grins at the exchange and goes to look around for the missing person just as Kenma comes up next to the other two.

“Koutarou.”

There’s a gross wet noise as Koutarou surfaces. “Yessir.” He laughs, and it’s surprisingly chastened. “Sorry, Kenma.”

This is when Tetsurou realizes that they’re all looking down at him laying on the bed. As in, they are completely focused on him and nothing else. This is also when he quickly assesses the looks on their faces.

Koutarou is still grinning, looking excited and jumpy as usual.

Keiji is smiling at him softly, but it’s a smile that’s probably on the edge of smug.

Kenma’s face is perfectly blank.

_Oh god, this is a plot._

Tetsurou lets out laugh that he prays doesn’t sound nervous. “Heh, what’s going on, guys?”

Koutarou and Keiji stay eerily focused on him as Kenma answers.

“Kuro, do you remember what happened a couple weeks ago?”

Ok, so Kenma doesn’t actually answer the question.

“Uh…” Tetsurou thinks back, but he’s not quick enough apparently.

“You cried!” For a split second Koutarou looks upset, but then the excitement is back.

“Koutarou what did we talk about?”

“Sorry, Kenma.”

Tetsurou frowns, sitting up further. “Wait, seriously? This is about that?” He feels the familiar shame pour into him and this time it’s tinged with hurt. “I told you guys what was up. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you again. I swear I wasn’t. I mean, technically the first time I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but-”

“Kuro.”

“What.”

“Stop talking.”

Tetsurou shuts his mouth, but scowls and looks off to the side.

He hears Keiji whisper softly to Koutarou, “He looks like a child,” and Koutarou giggles. Tetsurou’s ears burn.

Kenma sighs. “Yes, this is related to that but more specifically the reason you had for avoiding us.”

He pauses and lets it sit. He’s doing it to get Tetsurou’s attention and he knows it, but he looks back at Kenma all the same. Kenma’s looks at Tetsurou like he’s trying to scorch his skin.

He speaks softly, the tiniest lilt to it. “Didn’t you say you wanted to make us happy, Tetsurou?”

Tetsurou is instantly half-hard.

His name in Kenma’s voice is like a drug. The question itself sets Tetsurou on fire, and he can feel himself flush. The three of them are looking at him like they might just eat him alive. They’re waiting for an answer.

He swallows thickly but tries to smirk. “Of course.”

“Koutarou.”

“Yessir,” he answers giddily.

Koutarou _tackles_ him.

He then goes on to start _tickling the life out of him, what the hell?_

“Nooooo.” Tetsurou tries to squirm away but Koutarou’s pinned one side of his body with his own and is lightly running his fingers along the other. Tetsurou cackles without control, wheezing and snorting intermixed with small giggles, and Koutarou moves to tickle his armpits then up to his neck. Tetsurou hunches his shoulders but it’s no use.

There’s tickling on his feet and Tetsurou yanks his feet up, somewhat shifting Koutarou off him so he has a clear view of Kenma’s smug look as he goes after his feet again. Tetsurou hopes he knows that he could be kicked in the face, because it’s hard to warn him through his cackling.  

Keiji’s face appears above him, crouched on the bed beside him, and he’s _fucking grinning_.

“Wait, Wait.” Koutarou and Kenma stop and look at him, Tetsurou looks too but his vision’s a little obscured by the tears threating to run.

Keiji quickly reaches to grab the hem of Tetsurou’s shirt and yanks it up. He leans down and blows a loud wet raspberry right onto Tetsurou’s stomach.

Tetsurou is certain that he squeals and he tries to get away from Keiji, but it means moving into Koutarou on his other side who goes back to tickling his neck.

Tetsurou loses track of time but it feels like an eternity of squirming and laughing and wheezing and _pleading_ with them to stop. When the other three take pity on him, they’re all breathing heavily and gasping for air, but they’re all laughing.

Tetsurou groans loudly and clutches his abs, heaving. “Fuck. Three against one is a shitty thing to do to someone.”

“You’re fine, you baby,” Kenma says from the foot of the bed.

Keiji gets Tetsurou’s attention by tipping his chin towards him. Keiji’s cheeks are flushed red as he sweeps Tetsurou’s hair out of his face and kisses him. Their lips move together for several seconds and then Keiji gives him two more pecks for good measure before pulling back.

Kemna crawls up and plops down on Tetsurou’s already sour abs making him grunt. Kenma prods Koutarou.

“How are you feeling?”

It’s an odd question, and Tetsurou looks at him with concern. _Had he not been feeling good?_

But Koutarou is still smiling. He looks at Kenma. “I’m feeling really happy!”

The words hit something in Tetsurou.

“Why is that?”

Koutarou looks back at him and somehow his smile widens, making Tetsurou’s chest tight. “I’m happy because Tetsurou is laughing and happy! He’s really cute when he’s laughing.”

Tetsurou kind of feels like he’s suffocating. He _knows_ he’s not just red from exertion now.

Kenma turns to Keiji. “How are you feeling?”

Tetsurou is starting to get where this is going.

“I’m feeling happy.”

Tetsurou’s chest takes another blow.

Koutarou cuts in. “Oooo~~ Why?” He props his head in his hand with his elbow on Tetsurou’s chest.

Keiji smiles down at him, teasing. “Listening to that horrible laugh come out of a flawless body gives me great pleasure.”

Tetsurou groans and throws his free arm over his heated face, trying to block out what they’re saying. His throat feels oddly tight.

“Kenma! How are _you_ feeling?”

Kenma rests his hands on Tetsurou’s ribs. “I’m feeling happy.”

“Why is that?”

He gently pulls Tetsurou’s arm off his burning face and looks into his eyes. Tetsurou looks at him warily.

“I’m in love with an idiot who wants to give the people he loves everything they want, and doesn’t expect anything in return. He’s my best friend and I’m lucky enough that he loves me.”

_Fuck._

Tetsurou lets out a gross moan at the explosion in his chest and tries to cover his face again, but Koutarou’s got one arm trapped under him and Kenma’s holding the other so he ends up turning into his shoulder to try to cover up the fact that he’s started crying.

Considering the loud sob he lets out and the way his body shakes with it, he’s pretty sure he’s unsuccessful.

“Oh, babe..” Koutarou rubs the shoulder by his face with his hand.

The sound of his voice only cause Tetsurou to cry in earnest, and he scrunches his eyes shut as tears drip across his face onto the bed. It doesn’t really work since the most overwhelming thing is the feeling in his chest and that’s not exactly something he can see.

Tetsurou feels other hands comfortingly moving up and down his abdomen and another in his hair. He feels Koutarou gently pull the collar of his shirt down his shoulder and leave a lingering kiss there. He moves up and leaves another slow kiss against his skin, continuing up his shoulder.

Tetsurou feels Keiji shifting but gets distracted by a hand snaking it’s way under his cheek and pulling him to look up again. Another hand lands on his other cheek and thumbs rub the leaking tears away. One of his arms is free now, but he just rests it on Kenma’s waist.

The air from Kenma’s whisper dances across this face. “Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou laughs out a sob. “Yeah?”

“Open your eyes for me?”

He laughs out another sob. Of course. _Of course_. He would do anything for them.

Tetsurou peels open his eyes to see Kenma hovering just above him. He’s still smiling softly and continues swiping his thumbs across Tetsurou’s cheeks. Tetsurou glances up to see Keiji has moved to sit above his head, and then he feels him slip his hands under his head and lift it. Keiji moves so Tetsurou’s head is pillowed in his lap, but he leaves his hands threaded through Tetsurou’s hair.

Kenma’s voice draws his eyes back. “I can’t believe you’re crying, you dummy. We’re trying to make you feel better.”

Koutarou hums from where he’s still leaving slow kisses at the base of his neck.

“I do,” Tetsurou forces out. “I feel good. I’m just–” He swallows hard, and more tears spill. “I love you so much. God, I’m so happy, please. I promise.”

Keiji boops him on the nose suddenly, making him blink at his upside down face. “You’re a pain.”

“Not in the ass this time?” Tetsurou attempts a wobbly grin.

Keiji grins slightly too. “I wouldn’t want to insult you too much when you look so pitiful.”

Tetsurou laughs a little. “Thanks.”

Koutarou pops up. “Don’t worry, bro! I’ll still kiss you and suck your dick even when you look like shit with snot running down your face and everything.”

Tetsurou snickers, although it’s kind of hard with Kenma sitting on his stomach. “Thanks, babe.”

“Do you wanna go on?” Kenma asks him.

“Go on?” Tetsurou frowns.

“With what we had planned for tonight.”

“Uh…” Tetsurou glances at the other two before back to Kenma. “Sure?”

“That didn’t sound confident.” Keiji pulls on his hair a little.

“Yeah. Yeah, I just wanna– Ugh, keep moving. I feel stupid right now.” Tetsurou looks off, but squeezes the hand on Kenma’s waist to convey he’s serious.

“I’m gonna leave the stupid comment alone.” Then Kenma kisses him.

 _Hard_.

Tetsurou comes out of it with his head spinning, and he’s glad Keiji’s hands are in his hair because that grounds him a little.  

“Koutarou, can you flip him?” Kenma asks as he moves from straddling Tetsurou. He doesn’t sound like the kiss affected him at all.

“Okay!” Koutarou wraps his arms around him and flips them so Tetsurou is lying on top of him. Tetsurou pushes himself up so he’s sitting up and gets a nice view of Kenma’s butt from where he’s digging in the drawer for their supplies.

“Undress him.”

 _Well, shit._ Kenma’s voice has dropped, and Tetsurou feels a pleasant heat rush through him.

Keiji pushes in to help. “I’ve got his shirt.” He grabs the edge of Tetsurou’s shirt and pulls it over his head while Koutarou undoes his pants and pushes them down. Once his shirt is off Tetsurou leans forward so he can help Koutarou get his pants the rest of the way off. The underwear goes with.

The helping hands are nice, but cause Tetsurou to feel like a child for a moment. They’re going to take care of him. It makes him feel uncomfortable; he wants to be an active participant.

“So what are we doing?” Tetsurou asks, leaning onto his hands to kick the last bit of clothes off.

Koutarou just grins at him, and the other two don’t bother to answer.

Tetsurou lets out a hiss as Keiji sinks his teeth into his shoulder blade, and arcs into Koutarou reflexively. Koutarou takes advantage of the move and starts kissing wetly up from his collarbone to his neck. Keiji licks and sucks a little where he bit, then digs his teeth in again to the side of the first bite. He sweeps his hands across other parts of Tetsurou’s back as he repeats the process again and again.

With every bite, Tetsurou moves into Koutarou’s mouth who works his way up to his ear, back down and across his neck. Koutarou hums against his neck as he works, and it tickles a little. More waves of heat push through Tetsurou and his dick twitches.

“Wow, this went from 0 to 100 _real_ quick.” Tetsurou laughs, but it’s breathless.

Tetsurou loses track of what they’re doing when he feels the chill of lube dribble over his ass. He flinches and in doing so ruts directly against Koutarou, they both let out small groans.

Kenma rubs two fingers between his cheeks, and Tetsurou attempts to look back at him but Keiji is in the way. Two fingers is quicker than usual.

“Watcha doing Kenma?” Tetsurou breathes out.

“Kuro, it would make me happy if you took two fingers from the start.”

Koutarou detaches to see his reaction– he’s the only one who can– and Tetsurou blinks down at him. Koutarou smiles up at him encouragingly. And _shit_ if it doesn’t make Tetsurou feel like he can do anything.

“Sure.”

Kenma circles his fingers around a few more times, and Tetsurou wonders if he might be hesitating, but the thought barely had time to cross his mind before Kenma pushes in roughly.

It burns _._ Tetsurou’s legs and arms feel shaky and he drops down onto Koutarou and buries his face in his shoulder as he groans. Kenma’s fingers twist a little back and forth, giving him no time to adjust. Keiji bites his back again. It _burns._

Dropping down onto Koutarou puts pressure on his dick and Tetsurou ruts into him a few times. Koutarou giggles into his ear and moves to hold his hips still. “You look and feel amazing, baby.” He kisses  Tetsurou’s ear, still making his happy hums, and it echoes through him.

Now that he’s lower Keiji can reach the other side and starts biting across his other shoulder blade. The bites are starting to blur together creating a nice blanket over his back.

Tetsurou whines, but the burn is leaving as Kenma keeps twisting his fingers, adding in a scissor every once in awhile. Anyone else might think Kenma is looking for his prostate with the light twists, but Tetsurou knows that Kenma is aware of _exactly_ where it is.

Kenma pulls his fingers out, leaving Tetsurou feeling like he’s missing something, and there’s the squelch of more lube being squeezed out. Three fingers are rubbing his hole.

Tetsurou braces himself. Tries to rut again, but Koutarou’s got him held tight.

The fingers keeping rubbing. Tetsurou breathes hard, still waiting.

Keiji presses him down, trying to reach the opposite shoulder. There’s so much and not enough.

The fingers are still rubbing back and forth. Lightly. So lightly. The anticipation is unbearable.

Tetsurou tries to push back the other way. Koutarou’s still got him pinned. Tetsurou lets out a whine.

“C’mon Kenmaaa.”

Kenma pauses in the motion.

“You know what would make me happy, Tetsurou?”

Tetsurou huffs into Koutarou’s ear. He just wants fingers up his ass.

“Begging.”

“That’s right.” Kenma sounds pleased. “Would you beg for me?”

This is horrible. Tetsurou hasn’t even really gotten to feel good yet, just burning and wanting. _Why should I have to beg?_ He summons his strength and pushes back hard against Kenma’s fingers.

He doesn’t budge an inch. _Damn_ Koutarou.

Keiji bites him again, and the feeling is _nice_ because at least he’s _feeling_ something. Tetsurou lets out a groan and tries to scrabble his arms to get purchase to do _something_.

“Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou keens. He knows he’s not gonna get out of this one, but he wants to so badly.

“Haah...Kenma–”

“Tell me what you want Tetsurou. I want to know how to make you feel good. That’s what I want. Can you give it to me?”

 _Fuck._ Of course. Of course he’ll give Kenma anything.

“ _Please_ , Kenma. I want it. I want to feel good.” Tetsurou breathes heavily through it.

“What, exactly, do you want?” Kenma’s voice lilts and Tetsurou knows he’s enjoying this. It makes Tetsurou’s chest do the twisting thing when he knows that Kenma is happy.  The fingers are still circling his entrance are mind-numbing.

“Your fingers. Or your cock. Or something. _God_ , Kenma, _please_ put something in me. I need you.”

Kenma massages a cheek. “Shh. Thank you.” He slowly starts pushing in the three fingers. It _burns so good._

Tetsurou squirms on Koutarou’s chest, and Koutarou grabs his face with a hand and kisses him, long and wet. Tetsurou can’t really kiss back cuz he’s just trying to breathe but the air he pulls from Koutarou’s mouth is hot and wet and familiar.

Kenma doesn’t pause this time either, gently twisting until Tetsurou isn’t desperately moving around. Tetsurou feels lube drip down to his balls.

Keiji has given up on the biting and is just licking over the marks he’s left behind. Koutarou breaks away from their kiss and moves to nibble at his ear again. Tetsurou pants against his shoulder and tries to focus his eyes.

Abruptly, pleasure electrifies his body. He tenses and cries out loudly in Koutarou’s ear, clutching hard at his arms.

“So good. So good. You’re doing amazing.” Words are spoken into his ear.

Kenma pulls back from his prostate and goes back to the light twisting, and Tetsurou sucks in deep breaths of Koutarou’s scent as he goes completely boneless. He’s getting a little dizzy, and everything he feels is _good,_ but not _great_.

“K...Kenma…”

“You’ve got to tell me if you want something, Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou groans again. “Please...please, I can’t…”

“Hey, Kenma?” Koutarou’s voice is loud in his ear.

Kenma answers, “Yes Koutarou.”

“It would make me happy if Tetsurou took your cock.”

There’s a pause. Kenma’s fingers stop moving. Tetsurou holds his breath.

Only not really, because he’s still super dizzy.

“Hm… alright.” The fingers slip out, and Tetsurou lets out whine of relief because he’s getting on with it, at last. Koutarou goes back to kissing his neck, while there are sounds of Kenma stripping off his pants.

“You’re amazing, Tetsurou. Your back looks beautiful,” Keiji says against his skin.

Tetsurou can’t focus on that or anything really until the slick head of Kenma’s dick is touching him. Then it’s pushing in, little by little. Tetsurou squirms around again, this time clawing at Koutarou’s still clothed shoulders, and trying to find something to ground him.

 _Hell, Koutarou is still clothed._ Tetsurou’s fairly certain that he’s dripping pre-come all over him.

_Oops._

Kenma moves forward a little too roughly and Tetsurou cries out in pain. Immediately everything stops.

Keiji leans back. Koutarou stops the kissing. Kenma holds himself in place.

Tetsurou hisses out, “It’s fine, it’s fine. Just do it.”

Kenma slowly, _slowly_ , starts moving again, until he’s buried. The feeling of Kenma inside him has always been one of Tetsurou’s favorite things. He takes his minute to adjust to appreciate where they’re touching, how Koutarou holds him, Keiji draped across his back.

Tetsurou clenches a little to confirm, yes, this is _Kenma_ , and he groans, squeezing Tetsurou’s hips. Kenma takes the action as the okay to go ahead and move, and slowly starts rocking in and out of him.

The friction still burns a little but it’s a delicious counter to the pleasure of every push forward that forces Tetsurou to rut against Koutarou some more. He pants and groans every once in awhile when Kenma brushes his prostate.

He’s still avoiding it on purpose for the most part. They quickly settle into a rhythm.

Keiji finally gives up on his adventure around Tetsurou’s back. He moves around to where Tetsurou’s head is and lifts it up so he can see him. Tetsurou blinks several times at the blury figure in form of him.

“I want to feel good.” Keiji looks down at him hungrily. “Would you make me feel good, Tetsurou? Feel happy?”

_Goddammit. Everything is gonna be preceded by that from now on isn’t it._

All he can get out is a jerky, “Y-yeah.”

Koutarou’s arms appear under his armpits, holding him up so Keiji isn’t coming at his mouth from an odd angle.

Keiji quickly unzips and pulls down his pants and underwear enough for his cock to come out. He guides it to Tetsurou’s mouth. Tetsurou wraps his lips around it, glad to be able to do something finally, even if he can’t form a single coherent thought. He sucks hard on Keiji’s cock immediately.

Keiji digs his nails into his hair.

“This is so fucking hot.” Koutarou’s voice comes up to him from below. “This is the best view ever, seriously.”

Tetsurou slips off and lazily grins up at Keiji, lips sliding against Keiji’s head. He sucks him back into his mouth and gives several short sucks in increasing intensity. Keiji moans and thrusts shallowly. Tetsurou loosens his jaw a little and lets him, trusting him not to go too deep.

He closes his eyes and takes the moment to just feel. Kenma behind him, inside him. Keiji in front, guiding him. Koutarou under him, around him. They’re holding him, taking care of him, loving him. Each push from Kenma bringing them all together.  

Kenma gives a particularly hard thrust without warning, and it pushes Keiji’s cock into his throat. Something salty shoots into his mouth and Tetsurou’s eyes go wide. He tries to pull back, but Kenma’s still thrusting, pushing against him. His hands squeeze Koutarou’s shoulders in a death-like grip, and he lets out several whines.

Koutarou gets the hint and slaps Keiji’s legs next to his head. Keiji pulls back out, and when Tetsurou can he forces out, “Yellow!”

Kenma slows, breathing hard. He doesn’t stop, though, afraid it will leave Tetsurou feeling alone and horrible. He leans over and presses kisses to the curve of Tetsurou’s back. Koutarou rubs his sides alternately, holding him up with the arm that isn’t moving.

“I’m sorry,” Keiji says. “I wasn’t paying attention.” He runs his fingers through his hair again. “You made me feel good, so I couldn’t.”

Tetsurou knows he’s trying to help, but he’s too busy freaking out.

“What’s up, baby? What do you want?” Koutarou tries to meet his eyes.

Tetsurou takes several deep breaths, resting his forehead against Koutarou’s. “Just...slower.”

Kenma keeps going at his slow pace. It’s steadying, steadying. Tetsurou looks up at Keiji when he can breathe somewhat normally again.

“Again.” It’s almost a demand, and Keiji raises an eyebrow, but moves forward.

This time Tetsurou takes a different approach. He gives flicking licks over as much of it as he can reach and presses kisses along the edge of the head, sucking a little with each kiss. Kenma’s thrusts are still slow, but they’re getting stronger, and every solid thrust slides Keiji’s dick across his face instead of into his mouth.

Kenma hits his prostate straight on. Tetsurou groans and drops his head. Keiji helps him lift it back up, holding him under his chin, and Tetsurou keeps licking. It’s getting kinda tiring but he wants to do it, he wants Keiji to feel good.

Kenma hits his prostate again. Tetsurou groans right against the underside of Keiji’s dick, and Keiji lets go of a grunt in response.

Koutarou moves the hands holding him, so one is braced in the middle of his chest. The other slips between them and brushes his dick several times as he maneuvers his pants down. The shifting causes Keiji to slide across his cheek, and Tetsurou takes the opportunity to lick down the length of him.

Then there’s a rough hand around him, smearing his pre-come and pulling firmly. Tetsurou cries out and tenses once more. Kenma lets out a curse behind him, digging his hands into his hips. Koutarou only gives a few tugs and brings his hands back to hold him up.

He then thrusts right up into Tetsurou and Koutarou moans at finally getting some action while Tetsurou’s broken into more whining than moaning. Kenma pushes against his prostate at the same time as the next push up from Koutarou, and that’s almost the end for Tetsurou.

“Wai–” He gasps a breath. “I’m close. _Fuuuck.”_ Kenma is slowly grinding back and forth across his prostate. “You gotta stop.” Koutarou grinds up and Tetsurou scrambles and holds on for dear life.

“C’mon, Tetsurou. Think about what makes us happy.” Keiji’s voice is still put together even as Tetsurou feels his molecules splitting. _Fuck him._

“Tetsurou, you know.” Kenma’s breathing hard, voice tense. “You know what we want.”

Tetsurou is fairly certain that in about two seconds is about to actually die.

“Come, baby. You can do it. We _want_ it.” Koutarou grunts as he punctuates his statement with another roll of his hips.

The hip rolls pop the head of Keiji’s dick into his mouth just Tetsurou’s whole body tenses and his oragasm hits him like a truck. Kenma lets out a cry and buries himself in Tetsurou, who is currently groaning around Keiji’s dick, and sucking air in around it. He wonders if he nicked it with his teeth because Keiji hisses and pulls out, letting go of his chin.

Tetsurou shakes through the aftershocks on top of Koutarou and whines at his continued rolling hips. After a moment Koutarou tenses a little and sighs into Tetsurou’s hair.

Tetsurou breathes heavily, cheek resting against Koutarou’s shoulder nose against his neck. He grunts at Kenma pulls out.

There’s a loud groan above them and there’s abruptly cum splattering all over Tetsurou’s face. It feels like there’s some in his hair. He’s too boneless to react, though, other than to lick up a little than ran down his cheek to his mouth.

“That’s for biting me.”

“Hey! I didn’t bite you, and you got it on me too!”

“An unfortunate casualty.”

Tetsurou laughs, but it’s a tired breathless laugh. “Sorry, babe.”

“No, you’re not,” comes Kenma’s voice from where he’s flopped next to them.

“Ok, maybe I’m not.”

Keiji leaves the room and is back with a washcloth that he passes to Kenma before flopping down, too, and Kenma passes it to Koutarou when he’s done. Koutarou moves Tetsurou off of him, and wipes as much as he can off his clothes before just stripping and throwing the clothes on the floor.

“Koutarou,” Kenma says. “I know you didn’t just throw that on the floor instead of in the dirty laundry.”

“Eh, Kenma, I’ll get it later.” Koutarou passes the washcloth to Tetsurou, who sits up slowly to use it.

“No. You won’t.”

“You worry too much, Kenma.”

“Kindly shut the fuck up, you two,” Keiji sighs before they can really get into it. “Just bask.”

Kenma grunts at him but drops it, cuddling up against Keiji. Koutarou snuggles up behind Kenma, despite Kenma’s attempts to kick him off, and wraps his arms around him tight and nuzzles into his shoulder blades.

Tetsurou finishes trying to get all the cum out of his ass and subtly drops the cloth on the floor by Koutarou’s clothes. He looks back at his boyfriends tangled together and smiles warmly. A night like tonight is exactly why he wants to give them everything they want. A feeling of insecurity pops up and they immediately extinguish it. They show him that they’re not upset, that no matter if he can’t do some things for them, he can still make them happy.

“Wait!!!” Koutarou explodes up from the bed and darts out of the room. Kenma and Keiji barely move to check where he’s going. Tetsurou thinks about following Koutarou out, but he’s back quickly.

“Here!” Koutarou shoves a package into his hands; Tetsurou looks down to see that it’s a bag of Sour Patch Kids.

“What are these.” Tetsurou is genuinely confused, he’s not really a fan of sour candy.

“They’re Sour Patch Kids!” Koutarou says, like Tetsurou can’t see that with his own eyes.

“Yes, but why.” Koutarou is kind of bouncing waiting to give his answer.

“Cuz you could say that you’ve been going through a _sour patch!_ ”

He’s met with silence.

Tetsurou stares down at the candy bag in his hand, eyes prickling.

_What is up with all this crying dammit?_

Tetsurou flings the candy to the side and throws himself at Koutarou with a dramatic wail. “Bro, you know how much I love puns!”

“I do, bro!”

Tetsurou squeezes Koutarou as hard as he can while Kenma and Keiji groan loudly on the bed. Koutarou squeezes him back even harder and even though it feel like his ribs might break, Tetsurou feels protected in Koutarou’s embrace. Koutarou looks at the two on the bed over Tetsurou’s shoulder and says, “Don’t be sour about it guys.”

They groan louder and Keiji throws a pillow.

Tetsurou laughs delightedly at them even as it hits him on the shoulder.

“Tetsu, babe.”

Tetsurou turns back into Koutarou’s arms, smiling. “Yeah?”

Koutarou looks at him seriously. Well, it looks kinda silly honestly, with his wide eyes and eyebrows at his hairline but Tetsurou know it’s his “serious face.”

“Did you learn your lesson?”

Tetsurou can’t help it, he snickers. “Yeah, Kou, I get you. You guys love me; I’m amazing. Your happiness revolves around me.”

Koutarou gives a puppy dog pout.

Tetsurou sighs. “Yes, Koutarou. You guys are happy when I’m happy.”

Koutarou grins and gently pushes Tetsurou back onto the bed again. Kenma and Keiji look almost asleep already, and Tetsurou scoots up with his back against Kenma’s. Koutarou lies next to him and leans forward to rub their noses together.

“Don’t you forget it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to clear it up in case there was confusion, in this particular fic i headcanon that kuroo can't deep throat without having panic attacks. unfortunately that means that bo doesn't get head from kuroo very often cuz he can't really control himself ;)
> 
> ahahaha..........this is my first smut so. be gentle with me, but feedback is appreciated! <3
> 
> also, special thanks to [dgalerab](dgalerab.tumblr.com) for keeping me going and [livecement](http://livecement.tumblr.com/) for telling me not to post last night when i was slightly intoxicated. it wasn't even finished last night i just thought it was a good idea *shaking my head @ me*
> 
> find me on tumblr: [fxvixen]()


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